A woman is most at risk when leaving an abusive partner. If you feel you are in immediate danger, contact 9-11 immediately. These tips may help an abused woman develop an emergency escape plan. You can also call us and we can help.
Doing these things in advance can help you if you have to leave an abusive situation very quickly.
Getting Ready to Leave
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If you know where you are going to stay, consider
*Opening a bank account in your own name and arrange that no bank statements or other calls be made to you.
*changing your address with Canada Post – make arrangements for notice NOT to come to your present address. -
Decide and plan for where you will go if you have to leave home even if you don’t think you will need to
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Save and set aside as much money as you can – out of groceries if necessary
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Set aside, in a place you can get to quickly, $10 to $15 for cab fare, and change for telephone calls
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Plan and rehearse the steps you will take if you have to leave quickly, and learn them well
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Hide extra clothing, house keys, car keys, money, etc. at a friend’s house
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Keep an emergency suitcase packed or handy/ready to pack quickly
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Consider getting a safety deposit box at a bank that your partner does not go to
When you leave, take the children if you can. If you try to get them later, the police cannot help you remove them from their other parent unless you have a valid court order signed and directed by a judge.
If you ARE living with your abusive partner/spouse:
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Tell someone you trust about the abuse
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Tell your children that it is never right, even when someone they love is being abusive. Teach them it is important to keep safe when there is abuse.
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Make an Emergency Escape Plan and review it with a Hestia House counsellor or Community Outreach Worker in order to plan the safest way to leave your abuser. Call us if you need someone to talk to. (506) 634-7570
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Make arrangements with friends or family so that you can stay with them if necessary. If this is not a safe option, contact Hestia House.
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If you feel that a violent episode is about to occur, leave immediately (with your children).
If you are NOT living with your abusive partner
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If you are comfortable doing so, contact the police and ask them to assist you in staying safe by accompanying you when you return to the home to collect your personal belongings.
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Consider living with someone else or here at Hestia House for a short time.
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If you are staying in your home, change the locks on doors.
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If your partner follows you, call 9-1-1 and go to a safe place where there are people.
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If you live in the same neighbourhood as your ex, consider relocation. Don’t be ashamed to ask for help or support. Refuse to be alone with your ex.
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Change your schedule. Don’t travel the same route each day.
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Tell people who take care of your children (including their school), which people have permission to pick up the children. If you have a protection order, give a copy of it to the people who care for your children, especially if it has conditions regarding the safety of your children.
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Inform your neighbours that your ex-partner no longer lives with you and ask them to call the police if they see him or her.
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Keep a copy of any protection orders with you at all times. If you call the police to enforce it, they will ask to see a copy.
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Inform necessary people that you have a protection order, i.e. friends, children’s schools, childcare.
Important Documents and Items to Bring
Take a photocopy of the following items and store in a safe place, away from the originals. Hide the originals someplace else, if you can.
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Identification: Passport, Social Insurance, Birth Certificates, Immigration papers for all family members
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School and vaccination records
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Driver’s licence and registration
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Prescriptions or medical records for all family members
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Legal documents: custody documents, court orders, restraining orders, divorce papers, lease/rent agreements, house deed, insurance policies, bank account information, etc.
Try to keep your wallet or purse handy, and containing the following:
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Car/house/office keys
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Driver’s license, registration, insurance
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Address/telephone book
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Picture of spouse/partner
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Emergency money (in cash) hidden away
Try to keep all the cards you normally use in your wallet:
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Identification
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Banking cards
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Phone cards
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Health cards
When you leave, take the children if you can. If you try to get them later, the police cannot help you remove them from their other parent unless you have a valid court order signed and directed by a judge.
If you need to return to your home to retrieve personal possessions for either your children, or yourself you should contact the police and ask them to accompany you to ensure your safety.
If You are a Teen in a Violent Dating Relationship
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If things in your relationship don’t feel right to you, talk about it with someone you trust. You can call us 24-hours. Calls are completely confidential.
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Decide which friend, teacher or relative you can go to in an emergency.
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Contact the police to learn how to obtain a restraining order and make a safety plan.
Erase Your Online History
If you share your computer with other members in your household, you may want to erase your history of your visit to this site.
iPhone:
Safari browser
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Open settings app and select Safari
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Scroll down to the bottom and tap “Clear History” and “Confirm”
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From the Safari settings pane, tap “Clear cache” and “Confirm”
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From the Safari settings pane, tap “Clear cookies” and “Confirm”
Chrome browser
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Open the Chrome app
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At the top right, tap the three dots to open the “More” menu.
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Tap History.
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At the bottom, tap Clear Browsing Data.
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Tap to check "Browsing history." (It may be checked by default)
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Uncheck any other items you don't want to delete.
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Tap Clear Browsing Data.
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Confirm by tapping Clear Browsing Data.
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At the top right, tap Done.
Tip: Tap the menu and select New Incognito tab to use Chrome for Android in incognito mode. In incognito mode, Chrome won’t remember any pages you’ve visited.
Android Phone
Chrome browser
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Open the Chrome app
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At the top right, tap the three dots to open the “More” menu
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Tap settings
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Tap Privacy
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Tap “Clear browsing data” at the top right hand corner of your screen
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Select all data you want to clear, and tap “clear”
Tip: Tap the menu and select New Incognito tab to use Chrome for Android in incognito mode. In incognito mode, Chrome won’t remember any pages you’ve visited.
Built-in browser “Internet”
Tap the Menu button
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Select settings
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Scroll to privacy settings
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Clear history, Clear cache, Clear all cookie data, Clear form data, and Clear location access. You can also use the Clear passwords option under Security settings to erase the passwords you’ve saved in the browser.
PC – Windows
Chrome browser
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Click on the three dots in the top right hand corner to open the menu
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Choose settings, scroll down and click on ‘advanced settings’
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Click on the “Clear browsing data” button
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Check the items you want to clear
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Click on the “Clear browsing data” button
Tip: Press ctrl-shift-n to open a new “incognito tab” to use Chrome in incognito mode. In incognito mode, Chrome won’t remember any pages you’ve visited.
Internet Explorer
Before closing the Browser
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Click the gear to open the menu bar. Select Tools in the menu. Click on “Internet Options” select the General Tab
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Check “Delete browsing history on exit”. Click delete.
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In the Temporary Internet Files, click Delete Files. Check the “Delete all offline content” and click OK.
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In Temporary Internet Files, click Delete Cookies and then OK.
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In the History, click Clear History.
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Click OK to exit the Internet Options Dialog Box.
FireFox
Before closing the Browser
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Select the Tools in the menu bar, then select the Options.
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Click on the “Privacy” Option, with the picture of a padlock.
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Select the “History” tab. Click on “Clear Browsing History Now”.
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Select the “Cache” tab. Click on “Clear Cache Now”.
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Click “OK” to exit the Options dialogue box.
Mac Computer
Safari
(Before closing the Browser)
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Go to “History” tab on the main menu.
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Scroll down to “Clear History”.